And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always been a dead end, and if I ever wanted something like long-term happiness I'd have to be honest with them and myself. I'd have to learn how to be myself, which was a weird thought. I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be. Aur mujhe hug kiya aur fuck me fuck me bole ja rahi thi.Me strock deta raha aur wo aaaaahhhhh aaahhh aahhhaaa ooooohhhhh aur sindhi me kuch bol rahi thi. Wo itna pani chor chuki thi ki pach pach ki awaz pure room me ane lagi. Me bhi use har position me fuck kar raha tha. 1 ghante bad me discharge hua. Wo thak chuki thi. Meine condom nikala bathroom jake mera lund dho k aya tab tak wo aise hi bed pe leti hue thi. Meine jab chut k niche bedsheet pe dekha to khoon tha. Ye dekh k me shock hua aur pucha to wo boli 5 saal se usne sex nae kiya hai jabse uska divorce hua. But khoon ka pucha to wo boli uska pati fuck sirf ginke 20 bar kiya hoga uske 4 saal ki shadi me.Maya ko 2 ladki hai 1 pati se aur dusri uska affair tha jab divorce nae hua tha uske pehle. Dusri bar jab wo pregnent hue tab uske pati ko uske affair k bare me malum pada aur usne divorce de diya. Court se order mila ki bache mom k sath hi rahenge 18 saal tak to usne koe milega sex k liye isliye 1 ghar me bacho k sath rehti hai.
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